Dear all-powerful, all-knowing, benevolent, chess-loving goddess, Caïssa,
I have been studying the Royal game each and every day. Sometimes I’ve spent almost eight hours a day studying.
I have played over Master games, solved chess problems, sharpened my openings, polished endgames skills, and even helped some new players to get better.
I humbly beg, just like I did last year, to become better in the game. Specifically, I want to become an attacking genius like Alekhine, a tactical magician like Tal, a fighter like Fischer and Kasparov, have the technical know-how like Botvinnik, and play with the clarity like Capablanca.
It’s a tall order I know. But I’ve been good so far and make several improvements in my home. I’ve installed the tiles in my bathroom to alternating dark and white squares, started another bookcase dedicated exclusively to chess books.
I have even rolled the little pieces of leftover bread into pawns, queens, and all the other pieces I see on the board, so they don’t go to waste. I’ve tried making a chess cake, but with even less success.
All of my friends think I am crazy. At least the very few that I know.
I worship you. I love you.
Please extend your gracious gifts of insight, intuition, and inspiration to your humble servant, just like the muses of old.
Your very humble patzer and wood-pusher, me.